After the science museum, we had to make it to the performance at the medieval castle by 2:00 PM. Unfortunately, first we got stuck in hellish traffic on the way out of Chicago, and then I punched the wrong address into the GPS. Instead of taking the highway exit straight to the castle, we dragged our way through a 5-mile detour. The castle and the show are called Medieval Times.
The castle looks roughly like this (not my photo)
We only got there by three-thirty, but it turned out to be no big deal, since the show actually started at 4:00 PM. And they asked us to arrive two hours early simply so we could freely blow our cash on merchandise, that is, themed souvenirs. Upon arrival, they put yellow crowns on our heads and then snapped a photo of us with a princess. Inside there was a large hall where you could properly stock up on souvenirs, but we always ignore them.
The website says that the props and costumes are authentically recreated.
After a while, right there in the souvenir hall, a herald aka master of ceremonies started tearing it up.
The herald
He ran the show really well - he spoke fluently and pompously, but energetically at the same time. I, however, understood almost nothing. Then, taking turns by crown colors, we marched off to the arena aka the jousting lists, where the "feast" and "knights' tournament" were supposed to take place.
The battle arena in the dark, we are sitting in the yellow sector
The feast boiled down to eating chicken and tomato soup from metal bowls. The soup was alright, the chicken took the shape of a big and banal "Bush leg", so I barely ate it. The waitress and the light saber vendors were, naturally, dressed in medieval costumes.
Regarding the tournament. Knights in different colored clothes were fighting, and the spectators were seated in colored sectors and had to root for "their" knight. There was also some sort of storyline about an evil green knight, who in the end slaughtered almost everyone else. Then the king's son returned and finished the villain off.
The fights were choreographed excellently, they fought using various weapons, which they ripped off the arena walls or received from squires. Shields and spears splintered into pieces, and a couple of times I even got scared that the knights would miscalculate their trajectories and one would whack the other on the head with a "morning star".
The parade before the slaughter
Our knight was quickly knocked out of action, but that didn't particularly upset us. Factually speaking, you could say the performance was good and the fights looked authentic, but there was still some indestructible feeling of kitsch. Americans have a talent for this, of course - making a ridiculous and superficial fake out of anything. Nevertheless, you can definitely go there if you have nothing to do. There are nine such castles in America in total, so you'll find one in any region. Some might say: "How could you trade a science museum for some kids' circus?" . And I'll answer that going to museums for several days in a row is tough. Firstly, reading in English for a long time gets tiresome even for me. Secondly, at a show you can at least sit, whereas in a museum you're on your feet for hours, even though you do come across benches. Thirdly, you need to mix up your activities so you don't get bored.